The concept of keeping one's self until Marriage was taught to me by my mother. She explained to me how keeping yourself will bring honour to you in your husband’s house and will make the man cherish and respect you more (a theory which I’ve since discarded and put in the file under Bullshit) and the bible says so.
I never read it, my mother and the church already said it was in the Bible, no point corroborating. Recently I did my research (when I say recently, I mean now while writing this article) it turns out the reason for marriage was to curb sexual immorality. Blown! So in the bible, if you felt like having sex, just find a man or woman, marry each other and don’t deprive each other. Interesting.
So for a long time, I held on to that conviction because I wanted to save myself for marriage and any guy who takes my "flower" will be lucky and never leave me.
I’m really tempted to add because it is a sin. But so is drinking, smoking, the occasional dishonesty here and there, gossiping, for which I’m very familiar with so, I’ll put sin in one corner but yes sin.
I have been in two serious relationships not counting the Entanglements even though, at the time it felt like something, I never had sex with any of them. One entanglement I had which could have been told me point blank he couldn’t be in a relationship with someone he couldn’t have sex with.
Till now, I appreciated the honesty as opposed to starting something only to have issues down the line because I’d refuse to let him “know” me. I’m in my Mid 20s, and I still haven’t had sex. Frankly, I don’t see myself having sex with a man yet.
Everyone imagines something. I’m a creative and I still have a difficult time imagining having sex, which has led to me questioning my sexuality in my head. Asking myself if the reason I don’t picture sex with a man is that maybe I’m attracted to women?
Why haven’t I had sex? Everyone is having it. I’ve sinned plenty so I can’t say 'cos sin, the world has changed and women now have power over their bodies so having sex with multiple partners at the same time or different doesn’t make you a hoe.
It has been proven that sex doesn’t keep a man. I could have my vagina physically sewn, give him scissors to cut it open, have sex with him and give him Certificate of ownership and it still won’t keep a man. I choose not to have sex because I don’t want to have it.
To me, Sex is the total surrender of yourself to a person. The Sanctity of it has been watered down by people over time. And you’d come across many people who tell you having sex is not a big deal, then try to convince you to have it. Maybe they are very uncomfortable with the idea that there is a person who chooses not to have sex so much that they would rather believe their lie over your truth because theirs, make more sense. I’m saving myself for Marriage for myself not because my mother or the bible said so, using that logic, I should have sex because my friends are having it.
It could be anti-Climatic when I eventually have sex and be a letdown or it could rock my world and be a bliss. The fact is, the result wouldn’t change if I had it at 18 or 28. It still would have been amazing or not. So, don’t have sex because people are having it, or you think it would make you cool and be part of a conversation. You don’t have to experience it to be part of the conversation. If you read well enough, you will have something to say.
And it is easy to say, "I'm a virgin what are you going to do about it" because I'm a lady, there are guys out there who are ashamed to say they've never had sex and I don't know why your reason is your business. nobody should make anyone uncomfortable for saying it.
No comments:
Post a Comment