TALES OF A LOCAL IBADAN GIRL; the local girl and her bread

Today I went to the bank. I went to deposit money as an errand for my mother. On my way to the bank, I stopped to buy bread that I was gonna eat once I got home but, I couldn't carry the bread inside the bank. I asked the bread seller to give me a black Nylon so I could put the bread inside because, well I can't walk around the street holding bread in my hand.

When I got to the bank( well as a "big girl" I couldn't carry bread inside the hall na) so, I kept it in one of the safe boxes outside. The Nylon had my phones, T-fares, my Uncle B bread😁 then kept it in the safe box then proceeded into the bank with the owo-morney

I successfully deposited the money in the bank and came back out, took my Nylon and step outside the bank to flag a bike.

Like a bottled up wind released, something hit me faster than my thoughts and my Nylon left my hand. OMG! My phones! My money! My Bread!!! I wanted to die.

Then I started laughing silently with my head bent. At this point, people already gathered around me with sympathy on their faces some touching me, telling me sorry and trust Ibadan people to place a curse on him, his family and his 100th generations to come.

Something then hit me

FLASHBACK!!!

As I opened the safe, something told me to remove my phones and properties from the Nylon and the bread too. But, I thought to myself why in God's name will I be carrying bread like a local girl on the road? So, I kept my bread in the Nylon then I flagged a bike.

PRESENT DAY

In Yoruba I replied

E fi were si le ebi lo ma pa ku. Breadi lo Lori buruku ara e gbe elebi oshi (leave the mad man he will die hungry the future-less bastard just stole bread from me)

The people around me burst into laughter and I just kept wondering what if my phones were there? I sure would lie on the floor of the bank premises and MAYBE they will be able to get something to carry me off the floor.

That being said thaz how my Uncle B bread went with the wind 😢 welcome noodles